#scarfseries: fairness

by Sherri Goren Slovin Sherri acts as Beyond Civility’s lead trainer in the communication workshops. She is a communication consultant and a mediator. We have previously reviewed Status, Certainty, Autonomy, and Relatednes. Today’s minute is about Fairness. The dictionary defines fair as “in accordance with the rules or standards; legitimate.”   We are hardwired to constantly assess…

makers and takers

by Bea Larsen Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. Everyone I know yearns for the primary season to be over, but we have months to go. Outrageous statements are often followed by a pullback or a conditional apology, which typically begins with,…

#scarfseries: autonomy

by Sherri Goren Slovin Sherri acts as Beyond Civility’s lead trainer in the communication workshops. She is a communication consultant and a mediator. In previous posts, I reviewed the work of Australian neuroscientist, David Rock, who developed the acronym SCARF (Status, Certainty, Autonomy, Relatedness and Fairness) along with an explanation for how actions and words…

the green book

by Bea Larsen Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. To encourage civility and eliminate hurtful discriminatory treatment of our fellow humans, use gentle persuasion to change hearts and minds? Or pass a law to compel behavior? A recent article in the Times…

too much information

by Patti Foster Foster is a moderator for Beyond Civility’s Side-by-Sides and Back-to-Backs. She is a licensed attorney who practiced First Amendment law and is currently the owner of Cookies Uncorked, a deliciously creative place to decorate and order cookies. Our willingness to really listen to a contrary viewpoint depends upon how certain we feel about our…

becoming aware of bias

by Karen Faaborg Karen Faaborg is Professor Emeritus and a former senior-level administrator at the University of Cincinnati. Bea Larsen’s recent Friday Moment about unconscious bias reminded me of being brought up short by the realization that I strongly associate men with science fields. This insight shocked me because I have been heavily involved for…

listen to understand

by Joe Deye Deye is a Communications major at the University of Cincinnati. He participated in a class this past year that got him involved with Beyond Civility. You and a friend (or coworker, parent, etc.) have gotten into the dreaded political discussion. You know your friend doesn’t share the same political affiliations as you,…

personal discomfort

by Robert Rack Rack is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility and the retired Chief Circuit Mediator at the United States Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit. Successful Cincinnati businessman, Phillip Cox, gave a commencement address to St Xavier High School’s graduating class of 2015.  His talk is inspiring in its call for determined self-improvement,…

unconscious bias

by Bea Larsen Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. Most of us are able to acknowledge we hold certain biases, beliefs based on our own life experience, or passed along to us by others, that we casually adopt without much question. New…

the power of “and”

by Robert Rack Rack is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility and the retired Chief Circuit Mediator at the United States Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit Consider this:  Use “and” rather than “but” when responding to a statement you only partly agree with.  “But” is a conversation stopper:  “I understand your point, but….”  Everything…

millennials

by Tom Osterman Osterman retired after a Career in Sales Management/Mentoring at P&G. He is a graduate of U.C. and is currently Interacting with 16 young people, of the millennial generation, having exceptional talent(s).   The millennial generation’s mantra is to “change the world” which will require their very best, united effort in many fields,…

sponging

by Bea Larsen Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. He said: so, I hear you got the promotion. Another woman sleeps her way to the top. Silent at first, unnerved by the sarcastic taunt, she took a moment to consider her response…

mindful questions

by Bea Larsen Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. Talking with a close friend or colleague, conversation usually flows unguarded. The verbal interchange that carries us forward, asking questions, disclosing what is important about our lives, flows without risk of a misstep. …

challenging our perception

by Joe Deye Deye is a Communications major at the University of Cincinnati. He participated in a class this past year that got him involved with Beyond Civility. In a media landscape cluttered with stations running twenty-four hour news cycles filled with sound bites and sensational images, I find it can become difficult to discern…

achieving disagreement

by: Robert Rack and Sean Comer Bob Rack is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility and the retired Chief Circuit Mediator at the United States Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit Sean Comer is the Project Manager for Beyond Civility and the Assistant Director of Government Relations at Xavier University. In an April podcast of…

on appreciation

Bea Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. Our need to be understood and appreciated goes to our very core. Yet, when in conflict with another, our need to project strength, not weakness, may obscure the importance of this human condition. Consider…

the catharsis hypothesis

Bea Larsen is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility and Senior Mediator, Center for the Resolution of Disputes. Do you subscribe to the belief that the expression of anger results in a healthy catharsis, helps to dissipate those roiled up feelings and even reduces blood pressure? Well, not so, according to two prominent social psychologists, Carol Tavris…