by Bea Larsen Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. Everyone I know yearns for the primary season to be over, but we have months to go. Outrageous statements are often followed by a pullback or a conditional apology, which typically begins with,…
the green book
by Bea Larsen Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. To encourage civility and eliminate hurtful discriminatory treatment of our fellow humans, use gentle persuasion to change hearts and minds? Or pass a law to compel behavior? A recent article in the Times…
don’t assume, ask
by Bea Larsen Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. How often do we just assume another shares our point of view, only to learn how wrong we were? Why does it natter? If communicating well is the heart of a good relationship and…
unconscious bias
by Bea Larsen Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. Most of us are able to acknowledge we hold certain biases, beliefs based on our own life experience, or passed along to us by others, that we casually adopt without much question. New…
sponging
by Bea Larsen Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. He said: so, I hear you got the promotion. Another woman sleeps her way to the top. Silent at first, unnerved by the sarcastic taunt, she took a moment to consider her response…
mindful questions
by Bea Larsen Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. Talking with a close friend or colleague, conversation usually flows unguarded. The verbal interchange that carries us forward, asking questions, disclosing what is important about our lives, flows without risk of a misstep. …
the introvert’s dilemma
by Bea Larsen Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. You’ve decided to become politically active and persuade others to join in a cause for your community, or a broader partisan effort. But you are one who abhors the waste of time and boredom…
aplogy: remorse or maneuver
by Bea Larsen Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. A friend has said or done something without thinking and hurt your feelings. You gather the gumption to tell them so and their response is: I’m sorry you see it that way. Feel…
on appreciation
Bea Larsen is a Senior Mediator at the Center for the Resolution of Disputes. She is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility. Our need to be understood and appreciated goes to our very core. Yet, when in conflict with another, our need to project strength, not weakness, may obscure the importance of this human condition. Consider…
the catharsis hypothesis
Bea Larsen is the Co-Founder of Beyond Civility and Senior Mediator, Center for the Resolution of Disputes. Do you subscribe to the belief that the expression of anger results in a healthy catharsis, helps to dissipate those roiled up feelings and even reduces blood pressure? Well, not so, according to two prominent social psychologists, Carol Tavris…