Sherri acts as Beyond Civility’s lead trainer in the communication workshops. She is a communication consultant and a mediator.
Second in a Series of Five on “SCARF”
A newspaper is better than a magazine. A seashore is a better place than the street. At first it is better to run than to walk. You may have to try several times. It takes some skill, but it is easy to learn. Even young children can enjoy it. Once successful, complications are minimal. Birds seldom get too close. Rain, however soaks in very fast. Too many people doing the same thing can also cause problems. One needs lots of room. If there are no complications, it can be very peaceful. A rock will serve as an anchor. If things break loose from it however, you will not get a second chance. (From On Being Certain, Robert A. Burton, MD)
How do you feel?
Our minds search for patterns. Patterns make the world predictable. They help us feel safe and allow us to move forward (advance). Dealing with ambiguity takes more neural energy, which can reduce memory and performance. Not understanding patterns can also cause us feel vulnerable, unsafe; and feeling unsafe moves us into fear (retreat).
The key to the challenging paragraph above is, “kite.”
Now how do you feel?
When trying to convey an important concept or idea, it’s helpful to respect a listener’s need for clarity and certainty, and to create a concise picture or map that helps the person understand where you want to go.